New Beginnings… Possibly

     The other day while taking a walk with my mother and my 4 month old son, we started a conversation about the difficulty of finding a job that actually pays the bills. My mom, who has always been an extremely hard worker, has spent the last couple years either fighting for unemployment, working a mediocre job, or searching unsuccessfully for a better one during this pandemic. I, myself, have been fortunate to maintain my job of the last ten years while pursuing my degrees, but now my workplace is closing this upcoming March, and I find myself in search of a new start. Mind you, just like my mother, I have spent most of my life working in food service, though I also have two degrees and a post baccalaureate that so far I have been unable to use. As a new mother, and having spent the last 15+ years working in the food industry, I need to do something new. New isn’t the only factor, I also need something that actually pays the bills! 

    Having a child has suddenly heightened the standards of what kind of work I would pursue. First of all, the cost of childcare is absolutely insane. The average cost of childcare in the US is at least $1200/month. If you want your child to attend a better-than-average childcare, the increase is sharp from there. In Oregon, the annual average cost is over $13,500. If you made the minimum wage of $12.75 an hour, working full time, the cost of childcare would be more than half of your income. Mind you, I love living in this state, because working in food service, my tips are taxed, but not deducted from my hourly income like some other states. So on a good day, I can make closer to $20-25 per hour. This in no way makes childcare costs a reasonable proposition. Factor in the increasing cost of living (inflation is over 7% this year) and there is no way I could afford childcare working in a restaurant. 

The next question, do I even want my child in daycare right now? Firstly, he is only 4 months old. We are also in the middle of a pandemic, and daycares are germ factories. I am at times flabbergasted at how many parents complained about their children not being able to go to school during the first year of this pandemic. Yes, we are all sick of hearing about COVID and we want things to go back to normal. However, I can’t imagine taking the risk with someone that I am wholeheartedly supposed to protect. Now, I do feel slightly judgmental in that statement, because I also know that some people don’t really have the means to take care of their child full time at home, which is exactly why I am here writing this blog. So, kudos to those parents who have done what they have had to do to get through these last couple of years. Whether you had to send your children back to school so you could get back to work, or you stayed at home and homeschooled your children, which is itself a full time job, my hat is off. I am stating my personal opinion, but I also try to stay open minded to peoples situations and in the end, its not my place to tell others how to live. 

    The third question, is it reasonable to start from scratch in a new field after years of college and accumulating school debt? Well, it doesn’t feel reasonable in the first place that I had to take on such an insane amount of debt to get a degree. I have also found that possession of a college degree is a lot like having a high school diploma back in the day. The jobs that used to require a high school diploma, now require college degrees, and jobs that relate to your college degree generally require a masters or some other higher qualifications. So, here I am with basically three degrees, applying and reapplying to grad school, while working in a restaurant full time. 

    Looking back two years, when I first applied to graduate school, and was denied for not having the experience needed, I researched next steps to gain acceptance, but was halted by this worldwide pandemic, forcing us into quarantine and disallowing the experience I sought. Finally, some options started opening up, and wham, I got pregnant. Now, mind you, I am 33 years old. Having a child at this point was a dream come true, but it definitely puts a damper on my ability to pursue my masters at the moment. As a new mother, I just want to spend these first years having quality time with my son. So here I am, almost three years after graduating with my final degree, and I can’t get into graduate school to start this new “stage” of my life. At least, not for now.

    These are just some of the questions running rampant through my head. I am sure there are many more, but these days its hard to even hold onto a thought for longer than a few minutes. Like many others, I am in pursuit of a remote job. Here I sit, writing in this desperate attempt to start a blog, on a free start-up blogging site, with at least a years worth of work ahead of me before I have even a remote possibility of making a living from such an endeavor. What do I write about? How do I get my blogs out there for people to read? How can I start earning money so I can take care of my newborn son? And what kind of answers await me from the aforementioned questions?

    During my talk with mom, I realized that I can’t be afraid to take leaps. If my 50+ year old mother is out there searching and not giving up, then I most certainly can do it too. So here I am, writing my first blog, with my son kicking my arms while I try to type and babbling in my right ear. And this is where I found my focus. How to stand still in these moments and take things day by day. Life can be so chaotic and ever changing, but sometimes we need to stop and take a moment. Or sometimes we need to take a leap forward or back. Or sometimes we need to stay on the current path. On any course, we need to do what is best for ourselves. This in turn will be what is best for the people that mean the most in our lives. Just know that we are not alone. 

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