I know I am not the only mother during this pandemic that has felt the lack of social interaction and long-term loneliness of this last couple years. With the onset of COVID, we were all thrust into this new world of little interactions from having to quarantine from the rest of the world, in many cases even from family. The last few generations have already been losing sight of how to be in the “here” and “now”. Add in a pandemic and it’s an entire new breed of people, especially the younger generations. We may even have to relearn social cues and facial expressions with the lift on mask mandates. I have even heard they have classes for some of the younger generations on proper etiquette in different social situations.
My brother is a great example of how this pandemic has really impacted many young adults. He graduated high school amidst the pandemic. He looked forward to starting college so that he could start fresh and meet new people with common interests. Instead he found himself stuck getting a virtual education without the ability to meet any of his peers. So his day to day is spent mostly in his room where he takes his classes virtually or plays video games. He has confessed to me on multiple occasions about how he has found it difficult this past couple years to make any friends without having a source such as school or extra curricular activities. I can only imagine how mundane and lonely this routine is over time, especially for young adults his age who are just starting to figure out how to be independent. I would not be surprised if more people his age end up staying at home rather than moving out, either due to housing cost or lack of understanding social constructs.
It is not unknown that this pandemic has drastically increased cases of depression and anxiety. Chronic loneliness has been linked to not only mental health deterioration, but the deterioration of various biological systems such as the nervous, immune, and cardiovascular systems. It is not out of line to say that we humans need social interaction. And while our mental health care system is in some serious need of revision and availability, it is our job to find ways to prevent this degradation in our own physical and mental health.
I personally have found more acceptances to being alone. Most people who know me would say I am a very social being. This pandemic has altered my need to be super social with others, but I do have the fortune of having a significant other in my life that I find very easy to spend most of my time with. This is not to say I am not prone to loneliness or depression. I have had my fair share of highs and lows throughout my life, to the point at times of needing medication and intervention. Now that I am a mother, specifically a stay at home mother, I can say that being preventative is necessary. Though I have found acceptances to my isolation, as I begin to dabble in the life of parenthood, I now find myself missing those social interactions outside of my relationship. I want to socialize with others that are on a familiar path. I have heard again and again about the loneliness other stay at home mothers feel during these times. So here I am trying to throw out some ideas on how other stay at home parents might be able to find some social outlets.
I do find the need for social media to pursue any type of new relationships to be somewhat concerning. But I have also found that I am not the only one having to use these outlets that have similar concerns. So, I guess we have to get with the times and find some sort of balance and positivity in this new social construct. In fact, we all may as well get used to it, as the ever changing evolution of society is moving toward a less physically interactive system, and toward a technological and distance based society. And this is how I found myself not only using social media to promote my blog, and myself but also to form new relationships and find new outlets during this very isolating period of time.
Being the social butterfly that I am, I have instigated enough conversation with other mothers to find a number of beneficial groups through various social media platforms. These groups have allowed me to meet others that I can converse with, or even have small outings with. I have joined a mom’s book reading club, a walking group, and a babysitting co-op. All three of these have given me some much needed time outside of my own head and with other parents and their kids. This has also allowed me to meet others with similar interests and parenting methods that I would feel comfortable introducing to my family. If there is any way that I can help my son grow natural and proper social etiquette, I will try my hardest to do that. Finding like-minded families has given me the hope that my son will have friends to learn with and from in the near future.
Another outlet I have found is to pick up something that you may have left in the past. This is more of a “personal time” improvement during isolation. I haven’t done as much art as I used to. So this more quiet time in my life, I have found the time to do something that I used to be so passionate about. I have also found that watching others through social media that are also passionate about art has given me inspiration and the drive to pick it back up. I have set new goals to do at least one new art piece a week. Within a month or so I plan to start posting some of my prints on my website. I will have prints and postcard sets for sale soon on my site. I hope you all take a look!
The third tip I have is to find things for your child. All of the activities I have found for my son, in turn have introduced me to new people and resources. I have found that he has a love for swimming. I take him to some of the local community centers that have kiddie pools or shallow warm pools for us to swim in. I have also found a children’s museum for all ages that is chalked full of activities and other children and parents. My son is still pretty young, so many activities are still off the table. However, they grow so fast, so the opportunities are becoming more and more available as the days come.
So here’s my tip to you. If you are feeling lonely or isolated, look at local groups through social media. Find something you are interested in, whether its reading, going for walks, your pets, any kind of art, etc. There is bound to be a local group that caters to that interest. Find activities for yourself, and for you and your children. If you want to find friends, you got to do a little bit of the work yourself. So, don’t be shy and start having some conversations. You are bound to find a few people with similar interests and paths that are just as lonely as you. If all else, start a group yourself! And join me on my journey. I will be your friend and I am more than happy to have some much needed conversations about life, parenthood, or many other topics that I am sure we are commonly interested in.